iamwk

moved

2006-12-16T03:44:00.000+08:00

dear all,

i have moved to http://iamwk.wordpress.com

on this your special day

2006-11-11T18:39:00.000+08:00

this is dedicated to a dear friend...

on this your special day,
may the sunlight stay true,
may the dark clouds stay away,
may the velvety breeze be caressing,

on this your special day,
may it be filled with joy and laughter,
may it be amazing and breathtaking,
may it be more than you ever dreamt of,

on this your special day,
two paths shall diverge,
for a journey had been chosen,
for which new paths emerge,

the memories shall remain, the magic shall sustain,
though it fades into the distant silence,
always a special place it shall reside,
always gracious for the journey made,

i wish you health, i wish you wisdom,
i wish you joy, i wish you strength,
to tread the path now chosen,
may happiness be in the path that two shall take,

on this your special day,
may it be graced by the perfect sunset,
may the light never be reproached,
may the magic never fade...

bloody blinking idiots

2006-11-10T18:56:00.000+08:00

malaysia must be among the top few countries when it comes to the number of blinking idiots on the road...given the size of our population, we'd probably rate top when it comes to % of blinking idiots on the road!

each time it rains heavily, i can almost guarantee you that these blinking idiots will reveal themselves. a reflexive action, hands would reach out for that red triangular button that will activate the hazard lights of their vehicle...

i mean...hellooooooooo, driving in heavy rain is trickier compared to driving under normal conditions...

but it does not constitute a hazard!

is it so difficult for these blinking idiots to get their mind around the proper use of their hazard lights?

you driving around with your hazard lights on represents a hazard, you inconsiderate monkeys.

switch on your headlights, i can assure that the RED lights at the rear of your vehicle is very visible, even in a torrential downpour.

i'd like to quote jj hitzFM on the proper use of hazard lights...

if your car is stopped on the side of the road, then CAN!

only THEN CAN lar!

okay. rant over. have a nice day, ok?

new layout

2006-11-02T12:50:00.000+08:00

new layout, new colours, the black was getting a little too dark and depressing...found this simple white and blue template here.

anonymous blogs

2006-11-01T00:06:00.000+08:00

are they the new 'in' thing to do? Syl was telling me about her intentions of starting an anonymous blog, and then i come across Voices in Me, who is also thinking of starting an anonymous blog in order to bitch...as Syl would put it, "without fearing the consequences"!

blogging anonymously has its attraction, maybe due to the perceived 'safety' of staying anonymous over the internet. though one does wonder how anonymous one can really be on the internet...i remember reading about Torpark browser (a build of the Mozilla Firefox browser), about how it allows you to surf the net anonymously, and lo and behold, a few days later, i read a different article saying that the Torpark browser wasn't that anonymous after all...

anyway, i digress...must be due to the lack of sleep :)

back to anonymous blogging, a few things does come to mind...

how do people get to the blog to actually read it? - apart from the odd person who stumbles upon it in cyberspace

if you don't want people to read it, why blog in the first place? why not start a diary and lock it in a safe place when you're done or write emails to yourself if you want it accessible online...i don't know, why blog?
hmm, maybe it's to fulfill one's voyeuristic nature, but in reverse...having strangers stumble upon your blog and know your thoughts and yet not know who you are! heh, that's a new one isn't it, reverse voyeurism

and on that thought, maybe i should change the title of this entry to reverse voyeurism. let's all say it one more time, all together now...REVERSE VOYEURISM!

When i started writing this entry, i was going to say "no, don't write anonymous blogs" but i like this reverse voyeurism epiphany that i just got...so go ahead and write anonymous blogs.

but Syl, you will SHARE with me the adress of your 'anonymous' blog right?

one last time now...REVERSE VOYEURISM!

2006-10-30T13:32:00.000+08:00

such an amazing ability, to know that something is detrimental. and yet we continue to indulge in it...aware, yet unwilling to cease the cycle.

MU 2 - 0 Liverpool

2006-10-23T02:21:00.000+08:00

darth,
this one's for you. remember the place, remember the date, remember the time...

< scholes 39th minute, 1 - 0 >

< ferdinand 66th minute, 2 - 0 >

nice to see carrick playing some decent football and fletcher trying to be like keane down that right wing!

yes, i'm gloating...while i still can :D

future creative director

2006-10-21T12:30:00.000+08:00

a conversation that happened in the lim household, not too long ago...

eh, what are you doing?

i'm drawing lah...

what are you drawing? show me, show me!

wait, not yet finish...

* PAUSE *

nah...

HmmMMMmm...what is it??!!??

TWIN TOWERS LAH!!!

the artist

the 'f' word

2006-10-13T02:01:00.000+08:00

it's 1.19am, i should be going to bed but there's a million things running through my head. and i thought i'd overcome the insomnia after so long...oh well, it's almost like welcoming back an old friend...

hmm, old friends...they used to tell me that friends come and go, i never used to believe them. maybe it's due to that wretched side of psyche that remains sentimental way after the time for sentimentality has long passed. it's way past due time to wake up from this...

i wanted it to last till the end, to stand the test of time. it is almost as if it is alive, nurture it and it will grow while neglect brings you naught. i for one have been most guilty of the latter through certain periods in my life, i make no excuses, i acknowledge the errors of my way. but i used to believe in redemption where the errors can be made right again.

sometimes along the way, we get lost and we hurt the ones closest to us, sometimes later on we find them again and rediscover the friendship again. but sometimes that is the end of it, people move on, close that chapter in their life and see no reason in revisiting it again.

ah, but there is no one to blame, everybody makes mistakes. it is just sad when you discover that you no longer matter in the scheme of the person's life, not even for old times sake. but the hurt could just be a simple reflection of the hurt that was initially felt when one first erred. so there is no one to blame...cest la vie

to all my friends, past, present and future and to those who are no longer friends, this is my tribute to you, thank you for having graced my life.

mungkinkah bila ku bertanya pada bintang bintang
dan bila ku mula merasa bahasa kesunyian

sedarlah aku yang berjalan dalam kehampaan
terdiam, terpana, terbata, semua dalam keraguan,

aku dan semua yang terluka kerana kita

aku kan menghilang dalam pekat malam
lepas ku melayang, biarlah ku bertanya
pada bintang bintang tentang erti kita

dalam mimpi yang sempurna
- peter pan

multiply.com reloaded

2006-10-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

A Beautiful Mind (2001)
"...i need to believe that something extraordinary is possible..."
there is always magic,
sometimes we just need to look for it,
sometimes we just need to believe...

Hearts in Atlantis (2001)
"when we are young, we live in this magical world...
then we grow up, and go break our hearts..."
- Stephen King

religious institutions & hollywood

2005-10-01T19:39:00.000+08:00

this is from the movie 'Stigmata' from a few years back. yes, i know it's very hollywood and maybe the precursor to the upcoming 'Da Vinci Code' movie in terms of mentioning the Vatican, controversy and cover up in the same breath.

but hey, instead of condemning me immediately for bringing up issues on religion, just take a netural stance and have a think about the repercussions the following few phrases may have on religious institutions all over the world, if it were true...

The kingdom of God is inside you

and all around you,

Not in mansions of wood and stone,
Split a piece of wood and I am there,
Lift a stone and you will find Me

Fanta Grape

2005-10-01T06:37:00.000+08:00

When I was little, I used to frequent a corner store KFC near my dad’s store. I’d ask for a one piece feed, just a single drumstick, some of the mashed potatoes and a large Fanta Grape. They were best, pity they’re so difficult to find nowadays…

I remember once when I was holding my tray, when I tripped and my large Fanta Grape flew through the air, in slow motion and splashed all over the floor. I was about 7 years old and I was on the verge of tears when this wonderful KFC lady came over to tell me that she’s got me a new brand new large Fanta Grape! How good is that?

Just woke up this morning in a reminiscing mood. Isn’t it wonderful how uncomplicated life was when we were kids? Away from the BMWs, designer clothes, latest gadgets, Rolex etc.

All I want is my large Fanta Grape and I’ll be happy…

a moment

2005-09-30T16:35:00.000+08:00

A moment of silence, in a darkened room,
Is all that I ask, is all that I need,
A moment to reflect, a moment to think,
All that has past, everything that is, all that is to come,
There is no right, there is no wrong,

A moment of silence, in the darkness,
To illuminate the way, to light the path,
A moment of refuge, a moment of deliverance,
Slipping through my fingertips, I cannot stop it,
The cries for help, drowned away by the passing sirens,
Fading away into the stillness of the night.

fear

2005-09-25T02:31:00.000+08:00

Someone told me once that it is not wrong to be afraid, for it is this fear that will spur one forth to avoid failure. But there is always two sides to the story; what of those who are paralysed by fear?

“Fear is the mind killer” – Frank Herbert

Is there anyone that is truly fearless? Or just people who are less affected by it compared to others?

There was a time when I was so afraid to move out of the little comfort zone that I had built around myself. I used to make excuses for my inability to extend myself and move out of my comfort zone. “…if only this…if only that…”

The fear of the unknown, the fear of moving out of our comfort zone is the fear that keeps us from achieving our dreams…and it is these dreams that will slowly but inevitably fade away with time. And one day we will wake up and realize all that has been relinquished for comfort…

everything happens for a reason

2005-09-22T19:30:00.000+08:00

I use this phrase quite a lot, maybe my friends begrudge me for that. But I do believe in it…it makes life easier to live. If something positive comes out of a situation (in the short term or long term), one can look back and reflect that it happened for a reason. On the contrary, if something negative results from a situation…hey, sh*t happens!

I was worried about missing Melbourne after eleven years there. Coming home to Malaysia, I used to get annoyed with anything I could lay my hands on; the weather, the traffic, the people etc. Work dictated that I had to be in Jakarta for a period of time. Jakarta is more polluted and the traffic is worse compared to KL. The poor is so poor it breaks my heart just seeing them…
It then dawned on me that I was so busy seeing what Malaysia was lacking that I overlooked the things that makes Malaysia a great place…it took work commitments to Jakarta for me to realize that…see, everything happens for a reason...i told you SO!

the kopitiam consultants

2005-09-19T01:23:00.000+08:00

Go to any of the many kopitiams that dot that the Malaysian landscape and you’ll see them there. Politics, sports, technology, current affairs; everything is fair game, nothing is taboo and opinionated on every issue!
This is my tribute to the gentlemen and women, the people I call the kopitiam consultants. Without whom our kopitiams will be a much duller place, with no loud debates and laughter. Without it, our kopitiams will be so much more a sterile place…

heart wrenching...

2005-07-31T00:09:00.000+08:00

I was walking through the night market with my sister when I saw him. Sitting alone on the road surface,
with only a grimy of cardboard as his cushion. He was squeezed in between two stalls selling rambutans and langsat, the leftover skin and squashed fruit surrounding him as he sat there, listening to the cacophony of the night market.

Oblivious to his surrounds, he sits there with his plastic mug held out asking for spare change. He does not see the faces of the people walking pass, he does not see the stares...he is blind.

Is he a victim of circumstance? Is it self inflicted? Is it the lack of opportunities? Is it the lack of trying?

i do not know...

...it is heart wrenching...this i know

have you ever?

2005-07-20T14:47:00.000+08:00

this is something that i came across on the weekend. it made me realise how often quick fixes are put forward in our society today. how seemingly kindly advise,antidepressants and how the 'should be' is bandied with little consideration or understanding of one's circumstance...

it made me ponder and it made me think about the way i see things, the way i do things...this is what i share today...

could you just listen - anonymous

when i ask you to listen to me and
you start giving me advice,
you have not done what i asked

when i ask you to listen to me and
you begin to tell me why
i shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings

when i ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something
to solve my problem,
you have failed me,
strange as that may seem

listen! all i asked was that you listen,
not to talk or do...
just hear me
advice is cheap - radio, tv magazines
and newspapers are full of it

i can do for myself,
i am not helpless,
maybe discouraged and faltering,
but not helpless

when you do something for me
that i can and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and inadequacy

so please listen and just hear me
and if you want to talk,
wait a minute for your turn
- i'll listen to you

i hate these people

2005-07-06T02:24:00.000+08:00

i press the buzzer, there is no response. annoyed i press it again, the door opens with a click and i step into the reception area. i sat on the sofa, waiting for my turn, aimlessly flipping through a magazine, looking but not seeing. my mind is on something else, the purpose of my visit...

i hear my name called, i step through the threshold. i see the reclined chair, i see the equipment, i see the lady standing in the corner and the smell of something being recently disinfected pervades my senses. then i see the man, hiding behind the mask...i start sweating, i start getting claustrophobic...

gosh, i hate dentists!

an ode to melbourne

2005-06-21T23:05:00.000+08:00

i remember her beautiful face,

a foreign face, a new beginning, a promise

i know this face, a familiar love

i remember her easy elegance
effortlessly taking my breath away,
away from the bright neon lights,
away from the loud crowds
i loved her most in the winter chill,
a simple smile, a simple gesture,

little wonders that warm my soul,

but then she turns and looks away,
my lasting memory her, a myriad of colours,
perfection, slowly fading in the winter sun,
she does not ask why, she does not say goodbye,
there is no farewells, only new beginnings...

always new beginnings

show me the meaning of being lonely...

2005-05-18T21:32:00.000+08:00

i got to the address at about 630pm this evening. i knocked on the door and the lady welcomed me in, with a grateful smile on her face. then we sat down...

i couldn't help but notice my surroundings, the interior of the house being shrouded in darkness with only the lamp in the lounge shining down on us while the television continued its senseless blaring in the background. nobody else is at home, nobody else lives there...

she seemed eager to talk, to simply be able to have proper conversation without the feeling of being patronised. she is not the first, i've met and spoken to many like her before. we start speaking about general things, about life in australia decades ago, about growing up in holland, living through the war...we were like old acquaintences...sharing different stories from a different time, different culture.

too often are they neglected, these wonderful individuals in their golden twilight. i know not their history, i know neither their strengths nor their pain...twenty simple minutes will never be enough to discover that, but i do know that twenty minutes is enough to take the edge of loneliness away, replace the frowns with a smile, if only for a short while...